#32

Days pass, possibly. You doesn't remember eating. You only remembers darkness, and feeling weak. If You is going to starve, it would only be one of several logical, albeit negative, conclusions to this particular scenario.

But logic doesn't matter here. It never did, because still, nothing makes sense. It would take a genuine miracle to figure out everything present here before You dies. It would require belief in a large backdrop of the universe, and You can't conjure that right now.

Then, one day, an overhead light snaps on—one larger than the tiny overhead bulb. And that's not a metaphor; a light literally goes on, and You is blinded.

When the light clears, Your right eye is suddenly on the fritz again, possibly indicating permanent damage. But with the left, You can see that You was in a stone cell this whole time, with a single slit in the side, probably for air. At the front of the room is a circular metal hatch, which is grungy and miserable-looking. However, there's something coming down in front of it: a steel blast shield.

Something is happening. You hears the rising sound of twisting machinery, as the wall suddenly parts. It's not an escape; behind it, You sees a vast assortment of gears, all churning as a large gear pushes itself into the room. And it won't crush You—it's meshing with other extending mechanisms building themselves into the room. It's like watching some sort of awkward, uncanny animal enter through a rift in space. Once the gear and blast door are secured, You feels a lurch—because Your cell is now an elevator, going up from what You's feeling.

You struggles to stand with Your weakened legs, but as You does so, the tram shudders again with a halt, and You collapses. You's barely back on Your feet when the blast shield, and a new steel hatch, are open. Two men walk in, wearing the same dark blue garb as Your torturers. However, You can tell, from what You sees of their stance and height, that they're different. Elite units, maybe? Captains for the soldiers outside? Or just staff for...wherever You is?

As they grab You, You notices they're carrying large pikes, which makes Your heart sink a little. But they're not going to execute You with them, You figures—unless they're taking You out to some sort of spectator area first. You has to keep hopes up, though. Which indicates there must have been a jump at some point.

You's dragged down a hallway for a long time. You's now seen Your fair share of hallways, You must admit, but this one is certainly strange—it's like it's made out of fluorescent lights. Everything is white and glowing, and while some of it must be due to Your eyes still readjusting, it seems supernatural. And sterile, too, very sterile. Wherever You is must be somewhat important.

However, the hallway seems long, so You scans Your ability to speak. It might work, though You's parched as all hell. “Where are...” Shit, that burns. “Where are you boys taking me?”

“That's classified information,” a low voice says.

“Can you at least tell me if I'm going to be killed?”

“Perhaps—if You continues asking questions.”

“That's not very helpful.”

“Pipe down!” says the second one. And You does. But You also learns something in the process.

As it turns out, of all of the things to end one's mortal existence on, “pipe down” is not very memorable. The speaker would have learned this, if there wasn't a pop that blew his head and helmet apart. The other drops You and spins around, aiming his pike at the air; there's a laser burst from it, and You realizes it's not merely a pike, but also a gun. There's another distant pop and blood sprays from a new hole in his chest. He falls back, and You strains to see who this new person is. Another pop, and suddenly Your vision is obscured by blood. You's fortunate it's not Yours.

A figure is in the distance. It approaches slowly, and You wonders if this slow approach necessitates menace. However, as it gets closer, You sees that it is moving in a slow waddle, because the figure is sort of fat. It is, of course, Klaus. How he got into this place—wherever or whatever it is—is a mystery, but that is the way of Klaus. You doesn't believe You'll ever get him figured out.

You tries to smile at him, but it's a very weak smile. He raises his pike and gives you one of his nothing looks.

Then, he gives You a sandwich.

Even in the face of the drastic torture to You and Your loved ones, You properly freaks out. Internally, so that Klaus still believes You to be cool.

He hands You a familiar looking spear; that it's held up this whole time is impressive.

“What about the knife?”

His face is unresponsive.

“The voodoo doll?”

He gives an “of course, You horrible idiot” look, which You can only identify through the sheer amounts of intensified sass.

“...the stone?”

To this, he simply nods.

You nods back and looks at the spear. It's not a laser pike, but...wait. It looks like something has been attached to it with duct tape. It has a trigger. You turns it away and pushes it...

The odds have been evened.

Because speaking as directly and as deliberately as possible, You now has a motherfucking laser pike.