Tuesday, July 2, 2013


You awakes in a dark cave. You can only sense that You is in a dark cave because it is particularly dark, and the air around You has that particular cave-type smell. It remains possible that You is in a dark space that has been created specifically to remind You of a dark cave, which implies that greater and more horrific things are afoot. And, thinking like a normal person, You sincerely hopes that greater and more horrific things are, in fact, not afoot.

You looks down and realize You can't see Yourself—rather logical, given the current (possible) setting. However, as consciousness flows back into Your mind, You begins to remember who You is. Or, rather, what You is. For indeed, while You is human, You is not an ordinary member of such a species. Instead, You is the sort of human that happens to suffer from an Anfractuous Pronominal Problem of Lifelong Existence (APPLE), which is a very real disorder, unfortunately. You realizes that there are more important things at hand than remembering Your struggles with an APPLE, however. Like, for example, remembering who You is outside of a cave-imprisoned APPLE sufferer.

You have faint traces of memories, tiny lines on the wall of Your own mental cavern, but little else. Little else...but a tiny crackling at the borders of Your skull. You staggers forward, and You does find contact with a wall. Attempting to prop Yourself up, You manages to keep Your footing—but only for a few mere moments. You begins to slide down the surface of the wall, as Your mind plunges into a deep slumber...

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